So, before I get any farther into this post, I want to say that I am totally, completely biased against Hallmark and their cards: I don’t like them. It’s not that I think giving cards to people is pointless, or that expressing one’s thoughts/ feelings through a physical object isn’t valid. Giving someone a card is a nice thing to do, and I would never reject a card from a person who wanted to show me kindness. It’s not the gesture of card-giving that I reject, it’s the company and what it stands for.
If you’re not particularly skilled with words or you have trouble expressing your feelings, being able to find a card with something you want to say already written inside is a wonderful thing. There are people who scour the card aisle looking for the perfect card that says what they want to say in a better way with a nice image, something the other person can keep, and that’s what those cards are for. On the other hand, there are those who grab one of the generic ‘everyone cards’ at random because they feel obligated to give one and then hurriedly sign their name at the bottom in the car… and I think that’s most people.
Hallmark capitalizes on our very real emotions and influences what we say, think, and even feel in some way. They are a huge sponsor of our emotional literacy – what we read and write during emotional events/ times in our lives – because of the empire they’ve created in the special occasions market.
The messages inside these cards have become the norm. When someone is in the hospital you say get well soon. When someone has lost a relative you say I’m sorry for your loss. When someone is getting married or having a baby you say congratulations! I know what you’re thinking… these are all normal, acceptable things to say! What else are you supposed to say? Well, that’s exactly what I want to know. What else can we say? Why do we feel so limited in the phrases we can use at certain times? Who ordained what is polite/ acceptable during life events and what’s not? We say these things because we feel like that’s what people want/ need to hear… because they’ve said it to us… and the range of emotional expression continues to shrink.
I encourage you all to start making your own cards for people and writing your own messages whenever there’s a special occasion. I know it’s more time consuming and it’s never going to look as good, but I guarantee you will feel better giving someone something that you said, that you wrote, that came straight from your heart.
